


stay

by fullmetalscully



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Paralysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26302456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalscully/pseuds/fullmetalscully
Summary: Roy saves Jean's life in the tunnels underneath CentralFor the prompt: "hey, stay with me"
Relationships: Jean Havoc/Roy Mustang
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	stay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> for @gayroymustang <3

“Havoc? Shit!”

A spinal injury meant Roy had no business rolling his Lieutenant over, however it would also mean that Havoc wouldn’t drown in the foul-looking water that was in the puddles underneath his body. Roy’s side burned with white hot pain and his vision greyed, but he managed to get Havoc onto his back. It was clumsy, but at least his face was out of the water. Grunting, Roy wiped as best and as gently as he could at Havoc’s face to remove the liquid from his cheeks.

His eyes were closed. He was completely unconscious, which would be a blessing in the long run. Roy didn’t want to look into Jean’s eyes while he executed his plan. He didn’t want to see the agony and the fear held within them.

Gritting his teeth, Roy shuffled down to Havoc’s torso, centring himself. It felt like he was using all his energy just to lift up the fabric of his shirt. Roy bit his lip, managing to draw blood, as he tried to hold in his cry of pain. Suffering was worth it for Havoc’s life. Roy felt the same way about all of his subordinates, but especially for Jean.

“Havoc,” Roy breathed as pain washed over his body. Forcing his eyes open and wide, Roy shifted and tried to focus. His hand lifted shakily when he saw the blood and the two puncture marks on his abdomen.

He got no response, and deep down Roy knew not to expect one. It didn’t stop the dread from becoming more prominent in his stomach though. He was a desperate man, a broken man, and he was ready to beg with anyone and everyone to ensure Jean would be all right.

“Hey, Havoc…” Roy’s body tipped to the side, so he put out a hand to steady himself on the ground. “Hey, stay with me,” he commanded. His eyes closed as he rode out the wave of pain. “Stay with me,” Roy begged, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please…”

Still, nothing.

“I’m sorry.” His apology was as broken as he was, his voice cracking as he already begged for forgiveness.

Roy snapped.

Havoc’s body remained still.

He blinked down at him. Watched as the flames reshaped the skin around Havoc’s wound, but there was nothing. He hadn’t even twitched. Hadn’t even awoken.

 _Could… Could he not feel the flames? Feel the pain?_ Roy wondered if it was a hallucination due to his own blood loss, but the smell of the burning ruled that out immediately. Roy gagged on it, feeling a mix of shame and horror weave through his ribs and up his windpipe, choking him relentlessly.

 _It’s so much worse doing it to someone else… To **him** , of all people_.

Tears fell down Roy’s cheeks. He was burning Jean’s skin and it was killing him to do it. It would save his life, but he was still hurting him, maiming him… How could Roy ever forgive himself for _burning_ the man he loved? That was all he was good for in this life, apparently. First, his childhood friend, now his lover.

 _Useless_.

It may save his life… But at what cost? This was a short-term fix, a desperate attempt to keep him alive. It was eating at Roy’s sanity, adding to his already mounting guilt for getting Jean involved in the first place. He was a grown man. A soldier. Jean had made the choice to walk down there, but it still killed Roy inside. He shouldered the blame as he cauterised Jean’s wound.

Another failing to add to his already incredibly long list.

Roy’s head bowed as he snuffed out the flames.

“Forgive me,” he sobbed quietly. “Please.”

There was no reply, only silence.


End file.
